Right Now There's a Unicorn Crying in a Meadow Somewhere

So my friend decided to post an ad, in earnest, on Craigslist's "Women Seeking Men" page. She included a picture. She's pretty desperate after having been jerked around by her dickwad boyfriend for two years and figured her standards are pretty low, how much worse could it get?

Oh, it could get so, so much worse. She's been forwarding me some of the more hilarious replies. One guy sent her an email that read, "Yo, 6'2" 36 years old and I want to bee your sweet, sweet chocolate," including what she thought was the only attachment. The attachment she saw was a picture of a black dude standing like Shaft in a parking lot. However, the guy had also attached FOUR PICTURES OF HIS PENIS IN VARIOUS STATES OF ERECTION. THIS GUY HAD A U-SHAPED PENIS. They apparently didn't download when she first opened her email, but they sure came through on mine.

So I emailed her back and said, "Ummm...well, I don't know how sweet that chocolate is. Wow, penises, ummm...that's not something I expected to see today." Five seconds later I get this phone call - "OH MY GOD I'M SORRY I SENT YOU PENISES YOU'RE A LESBIAN AND I WOULD NOT HAVE SENT YOU PENISES IF I HAD SEEN THEM." That's pretty much the best apology I've received all year. I'm thinking that there definitely needs to be an e-card that says, "I'm so sorry I sent you penises via the interwebs."

ETA: My friend, who's never been one for learning her lesson, much to my amusement, plans on posting a Craiglist ad next weekend titled, "Let's Make a Sex Robot."