Moment of Zen

If you are someone I've spoken to at any length within the past four years, you probably know that riding the subway on a daily basis has turned me mildly homicidal.

First of all, exposure to the unpredictable incompetence of the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority (MBTA) will induce even the most mentally stable person to find solace in rocking in a corner and eating paste. Case in point, a couple of weeks ago, the token collecting turnstiles at the subway station near my work burst into flames.

Instead of fixing the situation promptly, the chronically in debt MBTA has decided to depend on the honesty of our fair city's citizens to drop tokens into a box next to an open gate - in one of the busiest stations on the line - and did I mention this was in Boston? Well, I guess with the way the MBTA dupes tourists at the airport stop into putting $20 a pop onto metro cards that barely work anywhere else on the system, everything comes out even. So scratch that. I think they may be secretly brilliant and I just haven't figured out their evil master plan, yet.

Add to the injury done by the general incompetence of the MBTA the insult of having to come into close bodily contact with dozens of complete strangers, daily, over a span of years, and you come perilously close to your breaking point. Seriously, if I wanted to get that intimate with people I had never met before, I would have taken up a career in porn.

Apparently I'm not the only one who has been slowly driven mad by regular subway ridership. Recently, the MBTA decided that its customers were getting just a wee bit too hostile. Instead of taking measures that would fix longstanding complaints, the operators of the T thought that the best way to encourage civility would be to reward random acts of kindness by handing out $2.00 vouchers for coffee. And the judges for what constitutes acts of civility? The same MBTA employees that slam shut car doors in your face just as you're millimeters away from boarding the train. Plus, might I point out, coffee isn't exactly known for its calming effects on the nerves. Good call, MBTA.

So I've got a better idea. I wasn't exactly in a great mood this morning when my train was fifteen minutes late. Due to the build-up of commuters, the trains were especially crowded. I was accidentally groped by a man who couldn't keep his balance. But my mood lightened considerably with what I saw when I disembarked at my station.

As I was slogging up the stairs with the rest of my fellow worker drones, a blip registered on my gaydar. Out of the corner of my eye, I spied two women in their mid-thirties, holding hands and talking to each other. I tried not to stare, but it was hard - they were really adorable. Next thing I knew, they leaned in and shared a big, fat, lesbian kiss, right there on the subway platform. It made my blackened little heart sing. I walked the rest of the way to work with a smile on my face that stretched from here til next Tuesday.

Now, if only the MBTA would plant cute gay couples in all of the subway stations. They can hold hands, kiss, wave rainbow flags, whatever. I know that would make me way more likely to not spit on tourists than any $2.00 coupon for coffee ever could. But this might just be my opinion.

Happy National Coming Out Day!